Monthly Archives: September 2010

I Adore Opera Concerts or Alice in CRAZYLAND


Have I told u that I’m one of the luckiest people in the world? If not yet, then you’ll learn about it from the story I am going to tell.

Last week me and my friends went to an opera concert. Anitta had invited all of us, as his brother was the organizer of the concert. He himself was also the composer of the songs that were performed.

When Sona and me arrived, Anitta introduced us to her brother, Eduard, the very composer, Lindy, the very singer and to some of her relatives. After that we were invited to take our seats in the second raw (the best seats were kept for Anitta’s closest friends ))). So, very pleased with the attention towards us, we took our seats and started to actively communicate to Anitta’s parents, which we are so fond of.

I had hardly managed to enjoy our first jokes, when an extremely serious man with a bottle of water in his hands and a cap on his head came and sat right next to me, and without losing a second gifted me with the most hateful glance that can ever be thought of.

“Maybe I’m not looking well today. I shouldn’t have curled up my hair((” I thought, and with a rather lowered self-confidence rejoined the conversation.

Let me remind u that the concert hadn’t yet started, and everyone was talking, laughing and making much noise. Suddenly, I felt another sharp glance followed with a compliment:

“Heeeey you, have u looked at yourself in the mirror before going out?”

-Me?- I asked

-Yes, I’m talking to you, you CARICATURE.

“Mummy!!! Who’s this madman? Or am I looking THAT bad?”

-What’s the matter?,-asked Anoush (Anitta’s sister) from behind us.

-I am TRYING to enjoy the concert, but your band doesn’t LET me.

-But if you haven’t noticed, the concert hasn’t yet begun.

-THAT DOESN’T MATTER!!!!!!!

“..enjoy your time dear Alice…” I thought and tried to keep calm to avoid painful injuries caused by the madman’s bottle!

When the concert began, the man took out the program, “GLUED” it on the back of his front seat and took out the lantern to check whether everything went according to the program. Unfortunately, Sona noticed that, and I could feel her shaking with laughter. As for me, I just killed my emotions in my stomach with undescribable efforts.

During the concert no conversations could be heard. Lindy was singing amazingly, and all of us were so proud of her and Eduard. No noise was made, except my “dear partner’s” murmuring. His murmuring was made up of all possible “compliments” addressed to me, like ”Fuuuu, look at heeeeer, look at this caricature, look at her sitting pose, OMG!!! Who am I sitting next to?” and so on and so forth.

While I was trying not to make abrupt movements, not to breathe too often and NOT TO SMILE, one of my Uni lecturers sitting right beside me noticed my person and greeted me with the most inconvenient warmth.

“Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay Alice!!!”

“Good evening, Mr. Sergey”,- I whispered with my trembling voice.

”Please, dear, don’t get angry, he was just greeting me. Please, use your bottle only for drinking and nothing else, you see, I’m keeping as silent as IMpossible!!!

“WEEEEEEEELL, it’s more than I can BEAR!” he interrupted my mute monologue! Will u let me enjoy the concert or NOT?!

“Don’t talk to him, please SHUT YOUR MOUTH ALICE and don’t pay any attention to him”-again mute monologues….

While I was trying to escape further noises and insulting words, Anitta’s father noticed my wrinkled and fearful face and turned to the madman.

“What do u want from this girl? Has she done anything wrong??”

“I WANT TO ENJOY THE CONCERT!!!!!! THAT’S ALLLLLLLLL”

“Please join me out during the break, I want to talk to you.”

“NO PRRRRRRRRRROBLEM!!!”,- roared our crazy friend.

During the break, after regaining my breath and warming my frozen fingers, I noticed that the madman together with Anitta’s father and her two uncles had disappeared!

“OMG, I caused a fight!!!” I thought and ran out to see what was going on.

The moment I took my head out of the door, I burst out into furious laughing. IMAGINE THREE TALL AND HEAVY MEN, DRESSED IN SOLID PANTS AND SHIRTS, RUNNING AFTER A CRAZY MISTER HOLDING STONES IN THEIR HANDS AND SHOUTING “HEY, YOU, STOP, U DAMN MADMAN!!!”:D:D:D

I don’t know whether it was my 40 minutes’ tenseness that caused my inhuman laugh, or the view with four misters was really that funny, but I couldn’t calm down for another 4 hours!!!

P.S. Now I’m looking forward to Anitta’s next invitation!

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